Life

Finally got back into reading about a week or so back. Or rather, found a book I’ve cared to finally download and read on my phone.

Murakami has sort of been a safe landing spot for me, among the incredibly large (endless, even) amount of choices on what to read next. I appreciate the way he writes and the worlds that he creates which implements the unreal and impossible with the realness and logic of the normal world.

Up to this point, many of the books I’ve read by him are pretty similar in that regard, and some might say TOO similar, and I can’t really disagree. Each book I’ve read seems to center around a man who is just going through the motions, and will often be 50% lost in the big picture of the world and 50% hardened, grounded routines like reading and listening to jazz, in order to fortify himself for the next day. The mundane of his worlds often come with a red carpet to introduce a glimmer of spirituality or otherworldly elements almost as a hopefulness that there is greater meaning or a connection to it all.

I could elaborate more on my full Murakami journey so far, perhaps another time. His pros and cons as an author are pretty widely discussed and known already, much of which I can agree on both sides and still press onward to read more.

I will say for this book, he managed to write women pretty fairly this time around. In this book (The City…) we start on the hyper-fixation of one girl, our main guy being a teenager at this time, and it ultimately sets the tone of our main character living life being more reserved for 30 years after this girl disappears, which actually happens not long after the 17 year old main character simply imagines to himself taking it to the next level with her. Now that I think of it, most sexual thoughts and passages are brief, and ultimately met with feelings of shame and regret of even considering the thought. Perhaps spoilers, but there is little or almost zero sex scenes in this book, so hey, that’s a first in my Murakami journey so far. This is a contrast from the main characters of books past fucking around 3 women per novel or more, sometimes it being a teacher he barely knows or even his own mother (I think? Still need to re-read that one…).

We got a big focus on libraries again, but I suppose its a staple I need to come to accept at this point, and indeed I still acknowledge there is something special about libraries, especially if you’re from a pre-internet era where you are a Google search away from the answers to many of your questions.

This novel actually strongly reminded me of Kafka By The Shore in the beginning, both containing 2 co-existing worlds, one more ghostly than the other. After a few pages I think it found its own footing, for me at least, and became its own book, probably with the start of Part 2.

I guess I’d call this post a review. Maybe more so an answer to the question “Would you recommend this book being worth the time it takes to read it?”. And I would answer: Yeah, I think so.

There’s still more Murakami I’ve yet to read, but I’m particularly fond of the styles found in Wind Up Bird, and Kafka by The Shore, and I would consider The City to be right up there with them.

This book is another series of dreams and interpretations, which kept me entertained and reading in bed for about a week.

On a more personal level, I’ve felt I have found this book when I “needed” it, similar to my other Murakami experiences as well. There is also heavy talks about one’s “shadow” and what they mean to people, so I’m pretty sure this novel is HEAVY on Jungian theory and ideals, that of which I’ve been trying to dabble into or simply read throughout this year.

It was nice to have it wrapped up in a more fictional, dreamy tale rather than deciphering more philosophical text and sorting from dialogue of those who are speaking of their own 3rd person understanding of it.

This past month has been a ride.
I’ve done a lot of introspection and have stared down at my reflection for a greater amount of time than usual.

Life has changed, and will continue to change no matter which angle I try to see it at. It became extremely overwhelming for a hot moment.

I think this month was just one of those reminders that forward is the only real direction.
Things might have been a certain way, and now they are not.
Things may have appeared to look one way, but maybe the truth is different.
Things are moving on and you can only really control yourself and how you feel.
This is a very easy thing to say and is always thrown around but I’m finding it very hard to navigate. Feels like this always.

It feels like the only real outcome I’ve produced over the last 30 days or so has been to try to internalize “do better” as much as I can. I haven’t been at my best in a while. What does my best look like? Would I be better if I stopped doing this and did that instead?

I’ve looked at some more behaviors, habits, and priorities that I’d like to adjust. I’ve taken a closer look at some “role models”. Not to solely emulate them, but to acknowledge that maybe this is what things can look like when I finally boil down and put the work in to feel better about myself and the moments that I’m in now.

On another note, I did watch Dune for the first time just a couple days before Part 2 came out. I was able to see Dune 2 early enough with a decent seat. The very front rows may be undesirable, but we got the last row back of the front section (if that makes sense), and it actually isn’t a terrible view once you’re reclined and its a very comfortable experience.

I might just need to make a separate post about my Dune experience, haha.

But I did appreciate how Dune was an amazing escape for me at a time when I felt like I was just completely in the dark. So consumer media therapy CAN help.

Hi there.
This would be considered the beginning, I suppose.

Actually that’s wrong, I bought this domain and built a prototype version of this website in Summer of ’22. But we’ve returned, as I transform it into an expensive Tumblr account.

Social Media has started to weigh down on me. The endless doom-scrolling and meaningless information has been clogging my mind of real thoughts and actual goals.

A major issue is that the actual content I want to digest, which is life updates from my friends, is hard to find and gets mixed in with content I don’t want to see and other advertising BS. It can also hurt to see some life updates of expired connections in general, depending on who. So its a lose-lose.


So here’s to looking like a goober on my own terms, on my own website as I strive to limit doom-scrolling to just me catching up on the world while I use the bathroom.